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Congratulations, Xero. You have somehow managed to make the word “invoice” both mandatory and forbidden, depending on whether the transaction is actually an invoice.

An extraordinary achievement for accounting software.

Let's review this remarkable innovation.

ACTUAL SALES INVOICES: Apparently, we can no longer decide to call them “Invoices.”

PAYABLES TO CUSTOMERS: Xero insists on calling the paperwork “Invoices.”

So, when we want customers to PAY US, the word “Invoice” is apparently unnecessary.

But when WE ARE PAYING OUR CUSTOMERS, the word “Invoice” is absolutely essential.

Brilliant.

We purchase recyclable materials from customers and issue payment breakdown paperwork. Xero labels these documents “Invoices,” despite the fact that we owe the customers money, not the other way around.

The results have been spectacular.

In ONE WEEK, five separate companies mistakenly paid US because they interpreted Xero's paperwork as invoices. We then had the pleasure of refunding all five payments.

Another customer was so delighted by this accounting innovation that their sales representative called our CEO, furious that we appeared to be charging them for copper WE HAD PURCHASED FROM THEM.

Now, every time we send payment paperwork, we include an explanation that the document labelled “Invoice” is not, in fact, an invoice.

We have to explain to customers that Xero's accounting terminology should not be interpreted literally.

Meanwhile, our ACTUAL invoices are apparently no longer worthy of the word “Invoice.”

Product suggestion:

Please allow businesses to label their actual invoices “INVOICE” and their payment breakdowns something sensible, such as “Payment Statement,” “Purchase Statement,” or “Remittance Advice.”

I appreciate that using correct accounting terminology in accounting software is a rather ambitious request.

Perhaps it could be considered for a future release, once the more pressing innovations have been completed.

Like additional animated swooshes.

Because apparently, payables called invoices and actual invoices called nothing are about as useful as an animated swoosh.

Although, to be fair, the swoosh has one advantage.

At least nobody has accidentally paid us because of it.